Jump to content

Wikipedia:WikiProject Military history/Peer review/Humbert Roque Versace

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

The editors would like for the group to comment on the areas that need improvement and any ideals for areas that need expansion.--Oldwildbill 18:29, 29 August 2006 (UTC)[reply]

Some brief remarks:

  • The lead should be longer; two full-length paragraphs would probably be suitable.
  • The "Biography" section can be split into two or three separate sections to make the flow somewhat easier.
  • The "Awards and decorations" and "Medal of Honor citation" sections should be combined into a single section giving the MoH citation as well as giving a prose summary of the other awards (with dates, etc.). The citation should use <blockquote>Text.</blockquote>, incidentally.
  • The "In memory" section looks rather stubby; if there's no more material with which to expand it, it may be better to simply merge it onto the end of the "Biography" section.
  • The "Bibliography" section is redundant with the "Further reading" section, and should be eliminated.
  • The notes and references need to be more detailed. In particular, websites need to have a date of access, at a minimum, and ideally more details like publication dates and authors.
  • The "See also" should be eliminated by linking from within the main body of the article, if at all possible.
  • What's the strange "United States" doing at the bottom of the article?

Kirill Lokshin 02:03, 31 August 2006 (UTC)[reply]