Template:Infobox Dad's Army Contest is the fourth episode of the first series of British sitcom Bottom. It was first broadcast on Monday October 7, 1991.
Synopsis
Richie receives a curse from a gypsy fortune teller.
Plot
Template:Spoiler The episode begins with Eddie and Richie preparing for a visit from Richie's wealthy auntie Olga. They have killed their fish to give the impression that they have no food left in the house (Eddie has hidden the rest "in the cistern"), scattered bills strategicly around the house so that she sees one wherever she sits and Eddie has sprinkled water everywhere to make it look like they've been crying a lot. When Richie phones to make sure she brings her cheque book, he is informed she has died and left him £600 in her will. Overjoyed, the two take £300 down to the funfair where Eddie does £45 worth of damage on a shooting stall. Richie agrees to settle the debt when he realises his wallet and the £300 have been stolen. In a bid to escape, Eddie askes the proprietor of the shooting stall to call it double or quits if he can shoot a particular target, however he instead shoots him in the eye and runs away.
Being chased through the funfair by the workers, the two hide first in the house of horrors (which they immediately leave as it is too scary) and then in the fortune teller's tent. Here the old fortune teller tells Richie she knows his driving licence to be a fake and describes his "special sex picture" (a naked lady with Julia Somerville's face stuck over the top). Convinced that the old woman has something (which Eddie believes to be dropsie) he asks her to tell his fortune and she reveals that in seven days he will die.
Richie rushes to the hospital, where, after causing much havoc with the nurse and the patients, Sir Roger Cobham - a famous surgeon -gives him a clean bill of health before kicking him out. Richie is relieved, however, on the way out, he and Eddie accidentally push on old man down an elevator shaft. Richie realises that his death will be caused by an accident.
The episode picks up 7 days later in the flat. Richie has created a "bunker" under the upturned sofa and has not left it all week - nor has he eaten anything, as he has enlisted Eddie to test all of the food, a task which Eddie has taken to heart. Richie notices the ceiling above him is sagging, and Eddie explains that it is his piano. Richie makes him go upstairs and move it. While Eddie is gone, Richie prays that whatever fate awaits him, be instead given to Eddie, however, his prayer is repeatedly interupted by Eddie playing piano. Just as Richie gets up to tell Eddie to stop messing about, Eddie and the piano crash throught the ceiling, nearly killing Richie. Realising that Eddie could be the cause of his death, Richie thrown him out of the flat.
That night, as Richie prepares to sleep, he hears a noise. Believing is to be Eddie, he prepares to hit whoever enters his bedroom with a cricket bat. However, rather than Eddie he is visited by Death, who tells him he is going to hell. Richie pleads for his life, meanwhile Death seems to have trouble with his mobility. It is revealed to the audience that it is in fact Eddie on stilts in a robe. Richie offers to play chess for his soul but Death refuses claiming he does not know the rules. He also refuses to play Cluedo because Richie always looks at the mystery cards. Eventually, Richie beats Death in a game of I-spy. Death agrees to allow Richie to live in return for allowing Eddie to return to live in the flat, the remaining £300 and Richie's secret copy of "Girly World". However, while attempting to make his escape Eddie falls down the stairs and breaks his stilts, revealing himself to be a fraud. While Richie and Eddie argue, the Shooting gallery stallholder kicks the door down looking for Richie, as he has his wallet. They realise that it was the fortune teller who stole Richie's wallet, and therefore knew of its contents. The Shooting gallery stallholder takes the £300 to pay for his eye operation, as well as the copy of "Girly World" and, after an invitation from Richie, the episode ends with him kicking Eddie in the balls.
Notes
- Helen Lederer makes her first Bottom appearance this episode, she would re-appear as Richie's love interest "Lady Natasha Letitia Sarah Jane Wettesley Olstomsky Ponsonsky Smythe Smythe Smythe Smythe Oblomov Bolomov Dub, 3rd Viscomptess of Moldavia" in the series 2 episode "Digger". She has also appeared in two episodes of The Young Ones (Time, Summer Holiday).
- Eddie claims not to know how to play chess, however, in the series 2 episode "Culture" he actually tries to teach Richie. It is likely however that he is lying here to stop Richie from stalling from getting the money from the fridge.
- Mark Arden had previously starred in several episodes of The Young Ones, usually alongside Stephen Frost.
Cast
| Cast | Characters |
| Rik Mayall | Richie |
| Ade Edmondson | Eddie |
| Mark Arden | Shooting gallery stallholder |
| Liz Smith | Fortune Teller |
| Helen Lederer | Nurse |
| Roger Brierley | Sir Roger Cobham |