Erusin: Difference between revisions

'''''Erusin''''' ({{Script/Hebrew|אירוסין}}) is the [[Hebrew language|Hebrew]] term for [[betrothal]]. In [[modern Hebrew]], "erusin" means [[engagement]], but this is not the historical meaning of the term, which is the first part of marriage (the second part being ''[[nissuin]]'').<ref name="JewEncBet">{{Jewish Encyclopedia|article=betrothal|url=http://www.jewishencyclopedia.com/view.jsp?artid=995&letter=B}}</ref>

Since the [[Middle Ages]]<ref name="JewEncMarLaw">{{Jewish Encyclopedia|article=marriage ceremonies|url=http://www.jewishencyclopedia.com/view.jsp?letter=M&artid=215}}</ref> it is customary for the marriage to occur immediately after the betrothal, and to perform the betrothal during the marriage ceremony itself. Previously this was not the case, and there were often several months between the two events.<ref>[[Ketubot (Talmud)|Ketubot]] 57b</ref>

AAn untraditional view{{clarify|reason=What is an "untraditional" view, or "non-traditional" viewin previous edits?|date=June 2024}} is that the betrothal was effected simply by purchasing the girl from her father (or guardian) (i.e., Thepaying pricea paid for her ([[bride price]] to the bride and her father). The price paid for her is known by the Hebrew term ''mohar'' ({{Script/Hebrew|מוהר&lrm;}}).<ref name="Genesis3412">{{bibleverse||Genesis|34:12|HE}}, {{bibleverse||Exodus|22:16-17|HE}}, {{bibleverse||Deuteronomy|20:7|HE}}, {{bibleverse||Deuteronomy|22:29|HE}}, {{bibleverse||Hosea|2:19-20|HE}}</ref> The girl's consent is not explicitly required by any statement in the Bible,<ref name="CheyneAndBlackMar">{{EncyclopaediaBiblica|article=MARRIAGE|section=Manius-Mash}}</ref> neither is there explicit permission to ignore it. It was customary in [[biblical times]] for the bride and her father to be given partparts of the ''mohar''.<ref name="JewEncMar">{{Jewish Encyclopedia|article=marriage|url=http://www.jewishencyclopedia.com/view.jsp?letter=M&artid=213}}</ref> Gradually, it lost its original meaning, and the custom arose of giving the ''mohar'' entirely to the bride, rather than to her father.

The traditional commentators do not necessarily explain ''mohar'' this way. [[Rashi]] understands ''mohar'' as a form of ''[[ketubah]]'', (an agreement to pay a certain amount upon divorce),<ref>Rashi Genesis 34:12; Exodus 22:16, Mikraot Gedolot, six volume Shilo edition, 1969</ref> and [[Nachmanides]] understands it as ''sovlanut'', (a sort of dowry or engagement present).<ref>Ramban, Exodus 22:16, Chavel edition, Mossad HaRav Kook, Jerusalem, 5732</ref> Rashi understands Rachel and Leah's complaint to Jacob ("we are considered strangers to him for he has sold us"<ref>''Halo nachriot nechshavnu lo ki m'charanu''{{Bibleverse|Genesis|31:15|HE}}</ref>) as saying that isit was not normal for a father to sell his daughters, atdaughters—at least not without also giving them a [[dowry]].<ref>Genesis 31431:15, Mikraot Gedolot, six volume Shilo edition, 1969</ref>

The Talmud states that there are three methods of performing erusin;: by handing the woman a coin or object of nominal value, by handing her a document, andor through [[consummation]] (sexual intercourse), although the last is prohibited by the [[Talmud]] because it is considered to be indecent for witnesses to watch a couple having intercourse: erusin ceremonies are to be confirmed by two witnesses.<ref> Talmud, Kidushin 12b</ref><ref>[[Abraham Danzig]], ''Hokhmat Adam'' 129:16</ref> In all cases, the woman's consent is required; however, it can be implied by her silence.<ref>Jewish Encyclopedia, ''Consent'' (http://www.jewishencyclopedia.com/view.jsp?artid=736&letter=C)</ref> In religious law, two valid witnesses must see the ceremony.<ref>[[Abraham Danzig]], ''[[Hokhmat Adam|Wisdom of Man]]'' 129:16</ref>

The erusin is preceded by a blessing over wine and then the ''bircat erusin'' (betrothal blessing).<ref name="RLamm15">The Jewish Way in Love &amp; Marriage, Rabbi Maurice Lamm, Harper &amp; Row, 1980, ChaperChapter 15</ref> If forgotten before the ceremony, it can be recited before the [[ketubah]] is read.<ref name="RKap20">Made in Heaven, A Jewish Wedding Guide by Rabbi Aryeh Kaplan, Moznaim Publishing Company, New York / Jerusalem, 1983, Chapters 20 and 21</ref> Originally, the blessings were recited by the groom, but today it is more common for someone else to recite them such as the wedding's Rabbi.<ref name="JewEncMarLaw"/><ref name="RLamm15"/>

In order to separate the erusin and nissuin - the two parts of the wedding - the [[ketubah]] is now read.<ref name="RKap20JewEncBet"/><ref name="JewEncBetRKap20"/>

For legal purposes, a betrothed couple isare regarded as husband and wife. Similarly, the union can only be ended by the same divorce process as for married couples. However, betrothal does not oblige the couple to behave towards each other in [[Conjugal obligations and rights in Judaism|the manner that a married couple is required to]], nor does it permit<ref>Text of the Birkat Erusin</ref> the couple to have a sexual relationship with each other.

The rabbis prohibited marrying without an [[engagement]] (''[[shiddukhin]]''). Therefore, an old custom is to sign a ''[[:he:תנאים (אירוסים)|Shetar haT'na'im]]'' as a formal form of engagement, forming an informal declaration of the couple's intentions,<ref>Adler, Binyamin. ''Sefer haNisuim Kehilchatam'', haMesorah Publishing, Jerusalem, 1985. chapter 3, paragraph 184-5.</ref> and is read close to the start of the betrothal ceremony.